Pringles Honey Mustard and Wendy's Baconator / Snack Review

Honey Mustard

Packaging: The colour is spot on, that sort of dark yellow close to Dijon mustard is attractive and reminds me of when I make my own honey mustard dip for chicken nuggets in the microwave as well, I'm trashy. The "Limited Time Only" red notice obviously made me them automatically, for review purposes only, of course. The bees and their hive is a touch and adds some cool artistry to the tube.

Texture/Taste: it's Pringles so the texture is always the same no matter what, were you expecting something different? Well yeah you could argue that they released some "wavy" or "groovz" chips but they're nothing special. The taste is pretty spot on to what I wanted. It tastes like a honey mustard dip, they did their job. It's spot on. The taste is pretty subtle and subdued too, it's not too much mustard-y or too sweet because of the honey, there's a good balance.

8/10

Wendy's Baconator

Packaging: there's a freaking big burger on the tube alongside the Wendy's sign. The tube is black too 'cause bacon is manly and shit, I guess?

Texture/Taste: Same old Pringle, it's orange-ish like the bun of the burger. Full disclosure, I don't think I ever tried the Baconator itself. I went to Wendy's like once and it was nothing special, it's not a super common fast food joint in Québec either. Still, this isn't very good or special. It tastes like a blend of fake bacon taste, BBQ sauce and hints of a beef aftertaste. It almost tastes like cheap beef ramen. I'll probably finish the tube anyway, mind you.

5/10

Lords of Quarmall – Iron Exile (2021) / 82%

Lord of Washington

Reuben Storey has been busy since the death of both Christian Mistress and Quayde LaHue. The multi-instrumentalist released some demos as Yronoxit and Horrible last year but that Lords of Quarmall EP is his first contribution to 2021 but surely not his last. The band name is straight up out of classic sword & sorcery (Fritz Leiber, to be more precise) and the subject of that review.

I know y’all probably haven’t heard Yronoxit (do so now) but I’ll compare the two a little. They’re both weird heavy metal but they’re coming from two different places. Yronoxit was a spooky, Mercyful Fate-ish project with influences from experimental heavy metal (see Krypt Axeripper) and an unusual vocal delivery. On the other hand, Lords of Quarmall is heavier, faster and incorporates a fair load of Slough Feg bits. If you’ve been living under a rock, The Lord Weird Slough Feg are the best American heavy metal band of the past 25 years. Iron Exile reminds me of some of the strongest Feg material from Down Among the Deadmen to Hardworlder. The album introduction “Inopia Scriptorum” also gave me a lot of old Rush vibes and those are always welcomed.

Four of the six tracks are pretty short (under two minutes) and most of them are instrumentals. They surround the two more substantial numbers, the mid paced “The Prophet’s Mirror” and the fast epic closer “Megapolisomancy” (been trying to pronounce that title all day) and I mean, it’s a good fit.

The main strength of the project is the riffs, they’re super good, all of them. The drums are intense, especially in that unpronounceable aforementioned track, they're bordering the death/thrash territories on that song. There's blastbeats while there's some subtle synths in the background, it gives us some sort of cosmic sword & sorcery big dick energy mood. Vocals wise, Reuben sounds like an unhinged Lemmy. A big barbarian with a massive sword influence, ya know.

Surely that's not the most original stuff released in 2021 but it never aimed to be. I do feel there's enough idiosyncratic elements here though. It's more accessible than Yronoxit and doesn't sound like it was made in a vacuum where the idea of what heavy metal sounds like is a distant souvenir. It's raw, intriguing, arcane traditional metal with galloping riffs and a powerful energy.

Available here - The old school way

Conviction - Conviction (2021) / 87%

The Baguette Doom Series pt. XXI: Guilty as charged

Conviction are a new band from Normandie but they're nowhere near beginners. Created in 2013 by Olivier Verron, the founder of Temple of Baal who also played for well known names likes Antaeus and Bran Barr, that new project easily distinguished itself by being completely different from what he's been playing. The one hour album explores a plethora of doom genres with ease and passion. Let's dismember it and investigate the remains.

The core of Conviction is traditional doom. Clean vocals, hard hitting riffs, hard working honest melodies and a strong rhythm section. That's not enough for the quartet though, there's a ton of old Cathedral and Paradise Lost influences here despite the old rivalries between France and England and it adds a ton of layers to their sound. 

Their main strength is the variety of their offering. We're served mid paced and faster numbers such as "Curse of the Witch" and also lengthier, mournful tracks such as "Outworn" and while it's different, it stays cohesive. That's due to Frédéric Patte-Brasseur's immense production. The work of Funeralium (covered by the Magickal Realm in the past) and Ataraxie's guitarist feels like a ton of oppressive bricks. I wouldn't say it's produced like a funeral doom album but it certainly influenced the process, it's dark and borders the prod we can find on doom/death albums while remaining a fit for their more melodic approach. They're not afraid to unleash excellent solos either and it feels like it's branching into American trad doom at times with that sort of guitar acrobatics (think Iron Man), it also reminds me of the bluesy doom Alice in Chains is known for too. It's never against the songs, it compliments their songwriting very well. 

Verron's vocals are strong while not being a highlight, they suit the atmosphere. There's a few harsh vocals moments that are appropriate and well placed throughout. "Through the Window" reminded me of the clean vocals from later Enslaved, that kind of drone chant was pretty enjoyable. He's not a powerhouse like we often encounter in doom and he's placed appropriately low in the mix to make up for that, they know their strengths.

Conviction, a band of French dudes in their 40s definitely know what they're doing. It's great doom with a sound they gathered from what they liked in the 1990s combined with the regressive modern sensibilities of bands like The Gates of Slumber. Bereft, masterful and evocative, Conviction will convince you. Yes, sorry, I went there.

Bandcamp